This reminds me of an interview with Madeleine Albright from many years ago, in which she said that when she was a college professor, her male students would often interrupt and talk over other students, while the female students were more inclined to raise their hands and wait their turn. Her response was to encourage the females to be more like the males. This struck me as exactly backwards: would it not have been preferable to teach the males to be civilized? As you noted, empowering women to treat men as horribly as they themselves have historically been treated may be perfectly understandable and even inevitable, but is not the pathway to sexual equality. It is merely substituting one form of domination and humiliation for another.
It is my firm belief that dating apps are part of the problem. They are dehumanizing, profit-driven platforms that are increasingly being run by AI. But what do I know? I don’t use them.
Hope you find the kind of love that nourishes your soul.
Thank you for this article. I am sorry to say that I think it has always been socially acceptable among women to make fun of men behind their backs. I remember hearing from a male friend when he was getting his hair cut that another guy wanted a haircut like a celebrity and the female stylists were laughing at him behind his back. I don’t think this derision or contempt is anything new, but I also think we know that people don’t act right online and they write things that they would never say to another person‘s face. We see this online and think it is the new normal. While we finally see some male predatory sexual behavior being dealt with seriously, we also see men persecuted or fired for behavior that should really be just a talking to from HR, especially after an institution has been harassed online. I’m sorry this is happening to men. My husband feels this deeply. Women are humans too, and being socially and economically less powerful does not mean we don’t have the same human flaws as men. Not everyone is a thoughtful person.
This is very well written. At the very end of my 20’s I used dating apps for exactly one year and I found myself matching with hundreds of people even though I had no intention of going on a date with them or even talking to them. I just found it too cruel to reject someone based of 10 pictures and a paragraph. I am now in a long term happy relationship. If I find myself single again I think I’ll just get some cats and more hobbies and trust in reaching for the same cartoon of orange juice at the shop.
Will we ever learn of the difference between the naturality of existence and the constructed superficiality of existence. Human beings squash ecosystems with their feet oblivious all natural forms, covering themselves with their cosmetics and potions to keep any form of nature away. Society at best amidst their arrogance and vanity, nothing is spared. Narcissism the new religion.
This reminds me of an interview with Madeleine Albright from many years ago, in which she said that when she was a college professor, her male students would often interrupt and talk over other students, while the female students were more inclined to raise their hands and wait their turn. Her response was to encourage the females to be more like the males. This struck me as exactly backwards: would it not have been preferable to teach the males to be civilized? As you noted, empowering women to treat men as horribly as they themselves have historically been treated may be perfectly understandable and even inevitable, but is not the pathway to sexual equality. It is merely substituting one form of domination and humiliation for another.
It is my firm belief that dating apps are part of the problem. They are dehumanizing, profit-driven platforms that are increasingly being run by AI. But what do I know? I don’t use them.
Hope you find the kind of love that nourishes your soul.
Thank you for this article. I am sorry to say that I think it has always been socially acceptable among women to make fun of men behind their backs. I remember hearing from a male friend when he was getting his hair cut that another guy wanted a haircut like a celebrity and the female stylists were laughing at him behind his back. I don’t think this derision or contempt is anything new, but I also think we know that people don’t act right online and they write things that they would never say to another person‘s face. We see this online and think it is the new normal. While we finally see some male predatory sexual behavior being dealt with seriously, we also see men persecuted or fired for behavior that should really be just a talking to from HR, especially after an institution has been harassed online. I’m sorry this is happening to men. My husband feels this deeply. Women are humans too, and being socially and economically less powerful does not mean we don’t have the same human flaws as men. Not everyone is a thoughtful person.
Contempt can be the product of exhaustion, having to deal with petulant man-boys who want women to carry their baggage without complaint
It’s not new but obviously culture, media and technology have brought it in your face in very depressing ways
Thank you for sharing your words with us. I will be turning this over in my head, again and again, for days to come. Appreciate you!
This is very well written. At the very end of my 20’s I used dating apps for exactly one year and I found myself matching with hundreds of people even though I had no intention of going on a date with them or even talking to them. I just found it too cruel to reject someone based of 10 pictures and a paragraph. I am now in a long term happy relationship. If I find myself single again I think I’ll just get some cats and more hobbies and trust in reaching for the same cartoon of orange juice at the shop.
Will we ever learn of the difference between the naturality of existence and the constructed superficiality of existence. Human beings squash ecosystems with their feet oblivious all natural forms, covering themselves with their cosmetics and potions to keep any form of nature away. Society at best amidst their arrogance and vanity, nothing is spared. Narcissism the new religion.
I miss the body positivity era. People forget the short kings moment! There has been a turn towards cruelty in the culture overall.